16 July 2014

Dealing With Discontent

Lately, I've been struggling a lot with not being content with where I am in life. I find myself yearning for more. Not much. Just a house with lots of land where it's safe for Bug and Little Guy to run around and play. A house with a better layout and a wider living room. 

I guess I've just been feeling trapped in my house. But that's what happens when you're operating with one vehicle. There isn't much room for us to go, Bug and me. You see, currently we live in a 1200 square foot house (which is almost 3 times as big as our first place) that has a very odd layout. The layout is very strange and difficult to explain. Our biggest problem is the living room. It is long and narrow and there is nowhere for furniture and with Bug's toys, it gets crowded very easily. Sometimes I get claustrophobic and feel like the walls are closing in on me. The bedrooms are great, no complaints there, and the kitchen/dining room combo works but isn't my favorite. The bathrooms are odd. I don't know what these builders were thinking when they built our guest bathroom, but who only puts a tub and not a tub/shower combo?!  I mean, it's great for bathing Bug and soon to be Little Guy because the tub is huge, but eventually they're going to grow up and want a shower and I would prefer them not to use mine. And what are our guests supposed to do? Go through our room to use our shower? That's just awkward for all involved. 

Then there's the yard. Though it's a big yard, it's a hill. And a pain. Taking Bug outside to play is no easy feat because she has a problem just walking around. We have a swing set to put up for her, but can't because there isn't a flat spot to set it up in! We need to get a truckload of dirt in, but that unfortunately costs money that we don't have. 

And the neighborhood doesn't really have any kids. I would love for Bug and Little Guy to have others to play with, but there just aren't any kids here and it makes me sad. Most of our neighbors stay to themselves and don't mingle. I guess that can be a good thing, but being a homemaker, it would be nice to have some neighbors to hang out with.

So I find myself dreaming of a different setting and a different house. I browse Zillow and Re/Max weekly (sometimes multiple times). I've found plenty of houses with lots of land that I love and would buy in a heartbeat. When I do have the chance to get out and about and drive around (yay for weekends and Bibi's who rescue us from time to time), I am constantly scanning the streets for those "For Sale" signs. It's silly, I know, but it's something that I do.

I understand right now that we are in an odd season of life. With the hubs in school and working full-time, we are committed to being here for a while. So I guess you'd say we're in a season of waiting. We have no idea where we'll go once he finishes school, so to be looking at houses is silly. We'll go wherever he can find work. And, more importantly, we'll go wherever God leads us. But I still can't help looking for another house. 

But then God gives us a day like today. It was beautiful out, so Bug and I decide to attempt playing outside. We wander up near the street and find a nice little spot in our yard where it's actually flat and we can play! Plus, the hubs's truck is up there and provides a good blockade from Bug wandering out onto the road. It was so much fun! I definitely have a rough and tumble princess on my hands! She's wearing her favorite red, tutu Minnie Mouse dress with tennis shoes on, in one hand she has a stick and the other a flower, and all the while she's chasing her ball and jumping the tree roots. And the whole time she's loving it. I had a great time too, until Bug discovered how fun it was to throw the ball under the truck and make me go and get it. This third trimester belly was not to keen on that idea. But it was fun and I'm glad we found that little spot! Now I hope we can get out and play more often.

I'm trying really hard to be content with what we have. I know God has us here for a reason and by not being content with these things, I could be missing out on a huge opportunity. My prayer for this week is that I learn to be content with where God has me. Has us.  

1 comment:

  1. I totally get what you're going through. You are a wonderful mommy and this season of waiting will pass. Hang in there as the Lord knows your needs. Matthew 10:29-31 says, "Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows." Hope that encourages you like it does me momma. God bless