As a new mom, one question always haunts me when something seems amiss with my little Bug. I'm sure this question haunts many other new, and even not-so-new, moms.
There are so many parenting books and articles out there that are meant to help you with situations. There are recommendations for sleep schedules and how you get your babe to sleep through the night. There are feeding schedules, the kind that tell you when you should nurse your babe and when it's okay to start feeding them solid foods. Then there are books that say what solids you should feed them, how much you should feed, how many times you should feed them, and what time you should feed them. There are books telling you how to discipline and when to discipline. Let's just say that there is a whole array of books and articles out there that are designed to help new, and not-so-new, moms out.
But do they really help?
When I first found out I was pregnant, I went straight for the pregnancy bible: What to Expect When You're Expecting. It tells you everything you need to know about pregnancy, labor, and delivery, but nothing towards how to raise your child. It was great for what it was worth.
Now we have competing parenting styles. We have babywise, ferber, helicopter, hands-off, the list goes on and on. And one after the other, they contradict each other.
So what do I choose? How do I raise my little girl? With all the options and methods and advice out there, where should I turn to? Always, I turn to the One book that holds the ultimate Truth to help me be a good mom.
Deuteronomy 6:5-9 "Love God, your God, with your whole heart; love Him with all that's in you, love Him with all you've got! Write these commandments that I've given you today on your hearts. Get them inside of you and then get them inside your children. Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street; talk about them from the time you get up in the morning to when you fall into bed at night. Tie them on your hands and foreheads as a reminder; inscribe them on the doorposts of your homes and on your city gates." The Message
* Love God and teach your children to love God. Spend your time being an example of what it means to love God, from sun-up to sun-down.
Psalm 127:3 "Don't you see that children are God's best gift? the fruit of the womb his generous legacy?" The Message
* When your children are tiring you out and you're ready to pull your hair out after a long night of teething, remember that children are a gift. I think so often we forget that our children are gifts and instead, we think of them as burdens. This is not the case! Children are gifts from the the Almighty and should be regarded as such!
Titus 2:1-6 "Your job is to speak out on the things that make for solid doctrine. Guide older men into lives of temperance, dignity, and wisdom, into healthy faith, love, and endurance. Guide older women into lives of reverence so they end up as neither gossips nor drunks, but models of goodness. By looking at them, the younger women will know how to love their husbands and children, be virtuous and pure, keep a good house, be good wives. We don't want anyone looking down on God's Message because of their behavior. Also, guide the young men to live disciplined lives." The Message
* Live by example. Teach your children to live purely and filled with wisdom, always seeking Truth, by living it out on a day-to-day basis.
But how do we know what example to live by? In this comes the staple Proverbs 31 woman:
Proverbs 31:10-31 "A good woman is hard to find,
and worth far more than diamonds.
Her husband trusts her without reserve,
and never has reason to regret it.
Never spiteful, she treats him generously
all her life long.
She shops around for the best yarns and cottons,
and enjoys knitting and sewing.
She’s like a trading ship that sails to faraway places
and brings back exotic surprises.
She’s up before dawn, preparing breakfast
for her family and organizing her day.
She looks over a field and buys it,
then, with money she’s put aside, plants a garden.
First thing in the morning, she dresses for work,
rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started.
She senses the worth of her work,
is in no hurry to call it quits for the day.
She’s skilled in the crafts of home and hearth,
diligent in homemaking.
She’s quick to assist anyone in need,
reaches out to help the poor.
She doesn’t worry about her family when it snows;
their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear.
She makes her own clothing,
and dresses in colorful linens and silks.
Her husband is greatly respected
when he deliberates with the city fathers.
She designs gowns and sells them,
brings the sweaters she knits to the dress shops.
Her clothes are well-made and elegant,
and she always faces tomorrow with a smile.
When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say,
and she always says it kindly.
She keeps an eye on everyone in her household,
and keeps them all busy and productive.
Her children respect and bless her;
her husband joins in with words of praise:
“Many women have done wonderful things,
but you’ve outclassed them all!”
Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades.
The woman to be admired and praised
is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God.
Give her everything she deserves!
Festoon her life with praises!" The Message
It's not easy being a good mom, or a good wife, or a good person. The term "good" is relative anyway. The way I base "good" on is laid out before me in the Bible.
So am I a bad mom? Maybe. But I know with God's help, I will continue to strive to not only be a good mom, but the best mom I can be.
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