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Remember this:
The first glucose test I failed. You can read about that here.
So I had to take the test again. Well this time, it took a couple of days for my doctors to get back to me about whether or not I passed or failed the test. This was unlike the first one where I got the call immediately saying I failed and my glucose level was high. So I assumed all was well. But I kept calling and calling my doctors trying to get the results. When I finally got a hold of them, they told me 2 out of the 3 tests showed that my glucose levels were elevated and I needed to go see a diabetes education specialist.
I. Freaked. Out.
This was not something I needed. On top of everything else that has been going on (our house is being overrun by bugs, I swear), I didn't need any added stress. Plus, I didn't know what else I was going to do. I'm already on such a restricted diet because of gluten intolerance. Needless to say, I was stressed. I feared the worse. Bring on the insulin shots. That was my motto.
It was at this moment that I realized God was giving me more than I could handle. I was mad. I was bitter. I was sad. I was grieving. I was an emotional wreck. I couldn't handle this. Not on my own. I was struggling with all my feelings under the sun. I wanted to throw something. Punch something. Anything. How could I have gestational diabetes? I didn't have any of the symptoms and I wasn't a high risk factor. So how could I have this? My biggest concern was that my baby girl would get too big and would have to be taken early. I did not and don't want my baby girl any earlier than she's supposed to be here. I couldn't handle what was going on.
It was in that moment that I learned that I couldn't do it alone. I needed to lean heavily on God and His strength. I wasn't going to be able to get through this stress by myself. Not with all of the worrying I was doing and the dreading I was doing about the future. God tells us not to worry about the future, but that was exactly what I was doing. I was worrying about things that weren't in my control. But they were (and are) in God's control. He alone can handle anything that is thrown my way. He can help me get through whatever mud is in the road. It's when I remembered hearing this song:
It really struck a chord with me yesterday. I had fallen hard and I was hurting. But God, who is in me and gives me strength will get me through this. I've had to meditate on this all day today. Especially with the appointment at the diabetes education center looming ahead.
So I went to my appointment today prepared for the worst. But God doesn't want the worst for us. In fact, He wants the best for us because He loves us. That was proven to me today. The lady who was directing the class asked if we wanted to see the results from our screening. She pulled mine and the girl's who was taking the class with me. When she got the results for us, she was puzzled at why I was even there. According to national standards, my blood tests weren't even high! They were within the normal range!! Just the doctor who I go to goes by a stricter scale. So really, there's nothing for me to worry about! I don't have to really change my diet or anything like that! I do have to monitor my blood sugar, but that shouldn't be bad, and if things are okay then I might even get to stop doing that!
How is that for a God who has my best at heart! He took care of me and my little girl and made sure that everything was going to be okay!
So as of now, everything is okay. Baby girl and I are okay. We'll still have to monitor her most likely to make sure she isn't getting too big. But that just means we get some more pictures of her.
God has really taken this scary situation and worked it in His favor. He is my strength and He is the One who got me through this.
