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I like to claim that I am a positive person. I like to picture the glass half full. Most times, more than half full. I find myself to be a dreamer. A person filled with hope. I like looking at the bright side of things.
So when things get dim, I start to struggle.
Things are dim. Things are worse than dim. They're getting dark. I know I need to focus on the good, and the fact that God will provide, but right now things are looking dim in my normally bright world.
I find myself looking at others and seeing into their lives. People I see who are buying new homes that are twice the size of mine. People going on vacation. People buying new things. Nice things. Things that I can't afford.
The hubs and I can't go on vacation. We can't buy new things. Our small home will have to last us for a while. Heck, we can't even afford to go on a simple date right now.
I find myself coveting things. Wanting things. Yearning for things.
As of now, we are living on a very strict budget with enough room to pay for our house and utility bills (including phone and internet). We have little left over for food (but there is money for food..we're not going hungry) and gas. It's tight. The hubs's job will cover that and my part-time job will help out with medical bills. But I work for a non-profit, so if the money doesn't come in, I don't get paid. It can get stressful.
It's getting stressful.
I don't like this "cup is half empty" thinking, but I do seem to go there a lot lately. Especially when I start thinking of all the things I would love to do with my family.
But it's in the midst of all of these stressors that God likes to whisper in my ear.
picture and words added by me
How encouraging is this?! God knew that I would have trouble, so He sent His Son to overcome the world. For me. Me. How amazing is that?
Tonight, I am clinging to this verse. Tomorrow, I will cling to this verse. For the next few weeks, months, years, or however long it takes for us to get back on our feet, I will cling to this verse.
"In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33
I share this with you in hopes that you see my struggles. It's hard to be the cup is half full girl. I'm trying to be. But it's not easy. Especially now when it's the first of the month and bills are due and I'm seeing how we're going to struggle. But I'm taking heart because my LORD and Savior has overcome this world. Also, I want you to see just how amazing my God is and how He takes my struggles and works them for His good.
I know how you feel, especially with wanting things that are out of your budget. A lot of my friends have amazing jobs and get to go on vacation and go out to restaurants all the time. Some of my friends (like you) even have husbands and own homes.
ReplyDeleteI've been job hunting for over a year now (applied to over 100 jobs) and I can't get anyone to hire me. It can be really depressing when you're struggling to get by (I'm living off $400/$500 a month and can't pay rent or student loans). I won't be able to start saving for a home for several years. What's even worse is I want to get engaged and married but I'm probably not going to get a proposal until I have a job. :/
Hang in there though! You guys have jobs, a house, and are a family. I'd give anything to have that (and so would a lot of other people). Sometimes we all have take time to remember the things we do have.
I know I am blessed. I look at my little girl and just know. She makes all these struggles worth it. I try my best to meditate on the good in my life, sometimes it's hard though. God will provide all.
DeleteOh dear sister, I really feel you on this blog post and I am on the same boat as you. Where my husband and I am right now financially we are far from where we want to be. Thankfully we're sharing the cost of living with his mama and sister. But I really desire a place of my own. I love that verse It is one I need to meditate on as well. Jesus gave me this verse to think upon during these times as well :) Matthew 6:34 "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow. For tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is it's own terrible." Be blessed sister. And I pray a huge gigantic financial blessing over you and your Jesus loving family. Because He wants to bless you guys beyond imagination. :) Love ya!
ReplyDeleteSo thankful for the hope that we have because of Him. Continuing to pray for you and your family....
ReplyDeleteI love this Alli. I'm so sorry for your financial struggles, that is so hard. Saying a prayer for you now, that The Lord will show you how He'll carry you through!
ReplyDeletePraying for you, dear friend.
ReplyDeleteLove you Alli! I will for sure be praying for you and Eric during this time. God is definitely teaching and growing you during this time. Let me know if I can do anything for you.
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